Fully Cooked

Ding! Today is my due date. The turkey is officially done, but apparently this turkey wants to be little crispy or something.

The best part about being due today is people asking “when are you due?” and watching their reaction when I say “today.”

I was enjoying this yesterday as well, although obviously saying “tomorrow,” instead of “today.”  One woman shrieked, one man literally ran away from me (was he afraid of my placenta exploding on him or something?), another woman gasped and asked what I would do if my water broke (um, go home?). I had multiple people ask me what I was still doing at work.

And (so far) I’ve been able to respond politely to all of these comments and questions, including the “what are you still doing at work” question, even though it is highly irritating. It’s irritating in part because I would love to be home right now. I’m in a considerable amount of pelvic/pubic pain, which makes walking extremely awful, I’ve developed PUPPP, which is driving me absolutely batshit insane (I’m sitting here at my desk with my shirt pulled up, cool wet paper towels draped over my belly), I have a chronic bloody nose (damn winter), etc. etc. etc.

It’s also irritating because I would like to respond with something along the lines of “if I got more paid maternity leave I would absolutely be home right now.” The company I work for does offer some paid leave – 20 days – which I know is more than most people get in this country. And I’ve been able to save a month’s worth of vacation so all together I have about 3 fully paid months that I’ll be taking once the baby is born. And I’m grateful for that, truly I am. But I find the maternity leave policies (or lack thereof) in this country so offensive I can hardly talk about it. Three months is not enough. It just is not. To add insult to injury, if I were farther up the food chain in my company I would get 6 months of paid maternity leave, with the option to go on partial pay for additional time off.

(Another annoying thing that the higher-ups at my company keep doing is offering advice along the lines of “hire a night nurse – we did and it saved our lives”. SURE. Because night nurses are so inexpensive! And you pay me such an enormous salary! That’s totally affordable for me!)

Anyway, that’s about it. Most thrilling blog post ever. Here’s the tl;dr version: I’m due today. People are dumb. Maternity leave in this country is pathetic.

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17 thoughts on “Fully Cooked

  1. Ugh, so frustrating! A few people have asked me when I plan to go on maternity leave. (I’m not due until August 28.) I’m like, uh, just as soon as the baby is born, duh! I’ll have 8 weeks of paid leave saved up by that time (provided I don’t get really sick or end up on bed rest), which is hardly anything at all. Why would I want to waste any of it sitting at home twiddling my thumbs? I’d rather save every last hour to spend with my baby.

  2. I went a week overdue with my first and had PUPPS. I totally, completely understand that misery, and my heart goes out to you. I hope that baby decides to come out immediately. You poor thing. 😦 Sending you lots of “get the hell out of there baby” vibes.

  3. One option that is less expensive than a night nurse is a postpartum doula. Most have a sliding scale and/or will work for barter and such, especially if they’re DONA certified or trained. DONA has the motto ” A doula for every woman who wants one.” That aside, I’m so excited for you to have made it to your due date. I’m sure you’re well aware but most first babies are late. I hope she doesn’t take too much time though for your sake. I agree with the frustration on maternity leave. I am very lucky in that I get 3 months at 80% of my pay. I certainly wish I had longer and that I didn’t have to pay extra on every paycheck to get 80% instead of 60% but oh well. I can’t wait to see your post about Baby being born. Sending you and Tammy a big hug and tons of love!

  4. My coworker just told me that she and her husband had opted not to hire a doula($1,000 out of pocket) as I have because they are hiring a night nurse (a bajillion dollars out of pocket, I assume). As though those two things had anything to do with eachother.
    I think I’m going to start telling people that we’ve hired a night nurse, a wet nurse, an au pair and Ina May Gaskin herself. My team is going to be SUCH A TOTAL LIFESAVER.
    Crispy kids are super cute.

  5. Maternity leave policies in this country totally suck! 3 months is crap. That amount of time is crap and the fact that most people don’t get paid for it is an even bigger load of crap. Well, I am not sure which is the bigger load of the 2 now that I think about it.

  6. I hear you on the night nurse/PP doula thing. People keep offering that as the perfect solution to my worries about handling two kids, how difficult I found infancy last time, and my fears of postpartum depression. Uh, we live in a really expensive place, and I will be out of work until September. (Stopped working in December because academia does that.) Thanks?

    The PUPPS sounds wretched, as does the pelvic pain. I am having different late pregnancy complaints, but, yes, being expected to go around doing things in this period is awful. (I’m able to mostly stick close to home, but there is the little wrinkle that home includes a toddler….)

  7. Geez, how the 1% live. My wife and I just talked about it and figure we’ll take baby-shifts that suit our strengths, me getting up early, her staying up late. Also, I googled the cost and the cheapest I saw was $625/ week. Which is much more than my mortgage.

  8. YAY DUE DATE! That is very exciting. Maternity leave in this country makes my eye all twitchy because it gets me so angry. The higher ups at your job sound like total dicks, too, which doesn’t help at all.

    I hope your little babe decides to show up sooooon!!! Can’t wait to see pictures. So so so excited for you!

  9. I’m so incredibly lucky…I am mandated by LAW to go on maternity leave 5 weeks before the due date, and I get 80% of my salary for 9 months. After that I can get around 60% up to the time the kid is 2 years old. Partners get 3 weeks off at 100% salary after the baby is born, and the parental leave after 9 months can be shared by partners equally.

    I know Northern Europe is not the utopia it’s made out to be, but in terms of maternity leave, this is pretty awesome.

    Happy due date! Safe delivery whenever baby is ready!

  10. Ok, I know it’s shitty, but I’m so glad you got the comments about the night nurse too. A bunch of mothers in my Mother’s of Twins Club said the same thing to me. It took everything I had to not roll my eyes. Happy due date day!!!

  11. Maternity leave in this country is a joke. I would’ve had to go back two weeks ago, which I cannot imagine. Thankfully we’re in a position that I can stay home with the wee one (while frantically pinching pennies and attempting to cloth diaper). 12 weeks is too soon. They’re so little. We’re still hormonal. I don’t know how people can do it after six weeks.

  12. Happy due date! I hope your little one makes her grand entrance into the world reallyreally soon! Maternity leave here sucks, but at least you’ve figured out a way to get paid. I wish you could take longer.

  13. When I was overdue with Bingo, one of my favorite things was answering the question “When are you due?” and being able to say “a week ago” or “a week and half ago”. It almost, almost, made being so ridiculously late worth it.

    Also, that short amount of parental leave is so hard. I fully believe that parents who want to stay home with their babies should be provided with the support to do so: both by their employers and by the government.

  14. I hope baby decides to come out soon!!!
    Maternity leave in the US (or lack of) makes me fightin’ mad too. I get 10 weeks off, only 3 of which will be paid (that’s all of my sick/vacation time saved up). So I also get to go back to work with zero sick or vacation days– and that is required. I couldn’t even choose to not get paid for those three weeks & save my time off.
    And whoever decides to mention a “night nurse” to me is getting punched in the face.
    Congrats on reaching your due date, and I hope you get to meet baby VERY soon!!!

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