Fingers and Internet Safety

Guess who is NOT 3-4 centimeters and 90% effaced? Me. Obviously. I am a “fingertip” dilated, but he couldn’t tell how effaced I was (if at all) because the OB couldn’t get his finger in there – as fun as that sounds.  Ahh, romance.

Dreams dashed, once again.

****

Awkward transition here!

Can I ask you all some questions? Where is your personal line on what you share and don’t share online? Tammy and I have been discussing this lately, mostly in regard to our soon to be daughter. She’s much more uncomfortable sharing things about her than I am (although that could change when she’s born) and generally has a higher standard regarding safety and security with technology (and in general) than I do, not that I’m super out there myself.

The people who read this blog and the blogs I follow pretty much ran the gamut – from sharing pictures and full names and locations to blogging under pseudonyms and keeping a tight lid on any identifying information.

How did you come to a balance that worked for you and your spouse or significant other (if you have one). (And side note – does your spouse/SO know you blog? Do they read your blog? Mine does.) Do you think your balance would shift if you had a kid? Or, if you already have a kid, did that change your mind at all on what you were willing to share with a public audience – like a blog?

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10 thoughts on “Fingers and Internet Safety

  1. Only if you are totally comfortable with being found via google go ahead and post pics, details etc. Personally, i like the privacy internet provides me. Its a place where i can say things with no fear of judgement. This is a purely personal decision i guess. And no, my spouse doesnt know I blog. I think if he knew i blogged, he would feel emotionally cheated because i dont tell him all what i write here. Its a way for me to stay sane in my marriage because infertility is so effing hard and as a guy he has no clue(not due to a fault of his own) on how hard these hormones affect us. I will post mundane stuff even personal issues etc, but no names and be generic enough to not be found via a search engine.

  2. I am an open book and would have a very hard time using pseudonyms and not sharing photos of my girl. I figure if the blog is about us, why not just share who we are, fully? I don’t use my full name out there, but I’m sure we’d be google-able if someone really wanted to look. I’m okay with that.

    I enjoy blogs better when they aren’t so private. I like the blogs best where I feel like I can identify with a name (and a face) instead of a fake screen name.

  3. I share pictures of my pets and have been pretty open about where I live. I don’t post pictures of myself or my wife (who hates having her picture taken).
    My wife knows about my blog. I ask her not to read it, because early in it, I wrote about her as I was going through feelings regarding her and this was my space. I’m considering just going back and password protecting the parts I don’t want her to read and letting her read the rest of it.

  4. I sort of regret telling people about my blog. Initially I talked to close friends and my husband about it, and then so-and-so told their friends, and someone posted a link on FB, and then my mom started reading it. Grandma reads it. Then my husband’s Kansas relatives referenced it during a visit (and I never thought that would happen). As a result, I censor a lot of what I write. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a second anonymous blog, just so I can use (more, realistic) profanity and complain about how annoying certain people are.

    As far as security, and privacy for me and the immediate family — I do worry about it sometimes, and when I think about strangers seeing pics of my kid — I second guess a little. But hopefully nothing weird or creepy will happen, right?

  5. My intentions in starting a blog were always that people in our lives could read it so I’m find with being public. I do use pseudonyms for my partner and I but I’m not opposed to people knowing our names. If we connected with people via Facebook we don’t use our real last names there (I’m a social worker and don’t want to be found by clients) so I’m not concerned. I plan to post pictures of baby and use their name- last name is my hold out.

    My partner knows I blog and sometimes reads it. I have no issue with that. She’s in charge of blog design which is why it tends to be boring. 🙂

  6. I have used pseudonyms for us and all our people and post fairly indistinct photos on the main part of the blog. But so that our regular readers could feel like they know us more, I have a password protected page of photos as well that show close ups of us but still no names as I don’t want to be found via google. The name of my blog is the same as the name I use for some baby / pregnancy forums so I do wonder if people from there may find it.
    I have only told 3 IRL friends about it, my absolute bestie, my accupuncturist (who I write about lol but who never reads it), and a writer friend. I’ve wanted to tell lots of various friends on different occasions but have managed to resist. I’m glad as I want it to be a fairly uncensored space where I can express my emotions and if I tell friends or family it will not be that way anymore. As much as I want to show some people, the support I get from the online community and my ability to ‘let it all hang out’ anonymously on here wins at the end of the day!
    My wife is subscribed to it and I’m happy for her to read it. In fact it often helps us to discuss things I’m struggling with.

  7. My husband was the one who encouraged me to start blogging in the first place. He did have his own stipulations on privacy, so I don’t use our real names, unaltered photos, or specify where we live or the specific kind of work/research he does. He doesn’t read it, although on occasion I have sent him the text of a blog post I thought would help him understand my emotional state. Friends and family also know about my blog but don’t read it. I have let them know it’s anonymous, and they respect that and, as far as I know, haven’t tried to find it with stealthy googling. As for when our daughter is born, I still haven’t decided what to do. I want to have a password-protected space for friends and family to access, since we won’t live near any of them. As for my blog, I may post her name and photos, but that would probably also be password-protected, and I won’t give the password to just anyone.

  8. Hubby knows I blog and doesn’t read it. He knows it’s my outlet. I started out more private but have become more open as I felt welcomed and supported. I try to protect the names of people in my life but am open about myself.

  9. It took me a lonnng time to reveal myself on my blog. I had no problem letting people know I lived in the Denver area, but I didnt reveal my name, any details about me like my profession, etc nor share a photo. But then one day I decided that the blogging community that I had grown to love and that had become my ‘followers’ were important enough that I wanted to share a bit more of myself – hence the first bump pic (with my face). I have so enjoyed having a face to picture when I read many others’ blogs, so I wanted to offer up the same. People still know no more about me than that.

    As for the kiddo, my hubby is also a bit more uptight about it. But again, it is important to me that I continue to share this journey with all of you and for me, that includes sharing in the excitement of ogling over pics of our little ones. Where the hubs and I have decided to draw the line is to a) continue to share no more details about ourselves and specific location and b) not put any naked photos of our little man.

    Anyhoo, that’s just us 🙂

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