Dream Company Anxiety

I’ve been all out of sorts this morning. Irritable and jumpy and tears lurking close to the surface. At first I thought it was because we stayed up too late watching Orange is the New Black (NSFWish), and I was just tired. And then I thought it was because I was waxing philosophical in my mind about my former life of drugs, sex & rock ‘n roll (“It was actually kind of glamorous in a way….JESUS, Sarah. It was HELL. Please take the idiot stick out of your ass and remember how brittle and cruel you life was back then”). Orange is the New Black has really gotten to me, apparently.

And THEN I realized it has to do with Tammy and her job situation. Tammy is extremely talented at what she does, and is highly sought after. The job she currently has is prestigious, and she’s being head-hunted by other, even more prestigious companies. About 6 weeks ago, she heard from her Dream Company. They had seen her resume and wanted to interview her. So she had an interview and then never heard back. We had kind of assumed that was it, and (I at least) more or less wrote them off.

Until last night, when Tammy got an email saying they would like to move forward with a second interview (this company apparently has many, many interview rounds).

If Tammy got a job offer, it would probably be a GREAT job offer. One that would be difficult to turn down. It’s the kind of place where, in Tammy’s field, if you work there you can write your own ticket afterword. A good analogy: if you work in politics, the dream  is always to work at the White House. And if you’re lucky enough to do that, once you leave the White House you can pretty much pick who you want to work for. You’re set. Same idea here (although vastly different fields).

So why am I unsettled about this, you ask? Dream Company, moving forward with a potential job for my wife?

Taking a job with Dream Company would mean probably moving, potentially across the country or around the world. The Dream Company does have an office in our city, but I don’t think they do the type of work Tammy does at that location.

It would also mean giving up my job. I don’t love my job, but it is a job that I’ve been at for over three years. It’s stable, and I contribute to our household bottom line in meaningful ways (although Tammy does make more, and would likely make considerably more at Dream Company).

And it would also mean giving up our support system, right before we have a baby. When Tammy and I discussed finding a way for me to stay at home with the baby, I always envisioned that being in the context of the city we know and love, surrounded by friends and family to help and give advice and babysit.

I can’t imagine myself, unmoored in a new city, with a new baby, and unemployed for the first time in my adult life.

You know that old saying, “be careful what you wish for”?

And that other saying, that even an atheist like me can recognize for its truth: “humans plan, God laughs”.

We’re still a long way off from any kind of job offer. And then, if/when a job offer is made, we’d have to sit down and seriously look at all the factors. But, given my dream of having a baby, how could I deny Tammy her dream of working for this company?

A lot to think about, ponder over, and worry about in the weeks to come.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Dream Company Anxiety

  1. Sending you love and support. My only advice is to not stress things that may not happen. I don’t know what Tammy does but maybe they’ll make an exception and let her work in the local office or from home. That being said, you and I are too much alike for me to think you’ll sto worrying. We’re worriers. Sending you peace and clarity.

  2. It sounds like you may have some tough decisions ahead of you. Try to take it one step at a time. I know it’s hard not to try to plan ahead, but I’ve gotten better about not imagining our lives being turned upside down every time my husband has a job interview. Maybe that’s because, so far, none of it has become reality. If and when it does become a reality for you and Tammy, you’ll deal with it as it comes.

  3. Pingback: Ramblings | The Mamas Rapscallion

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s