ME: you back at work?
Friend With Baby: Yep
ME: welcome back!
And they upgraded my operating system so I can actually get into my gmail again
as you can see
ME: yes, very nice
how are you doing?
other than being so-so on going back to work
FWB: i’m doing ok. tired.
ME: tired and sore
had a lot of early morning appointments this week so i can still get to work on time
FWB: oh gotcha
ME: plus bloated from all the follicles
FWB: follicles are a bunch of assholes
ME: indeed they are
and i’m hysterically emotional. am a joy to be around, obviously
FWB: we should hang out then
ME: you up for me bursting into tears at random moments, and jumping into hulk like rage at others?
FWB: that does sound a little terrifying
an emotional rollercoaster
ME: it is
she was away all week on business
FWB: well…it’s almost time for me to go pump. see what you have to look forward to? also my old uniform shirts don’t fit cause apparently i have huge boobs now (first world problems)
ME: child having problems
FWB: you’ll have one (probably triplets or something)
ME: i kind of doubt it
but we’ll see
FWB: i got all my fingers and toes crossed for you and your triplets
better have three boy and girl names picked out just in case
ME: far too jinxy
cannot even discuss one
the jinx gods are listening
FWB: Jinx gods are a bag of dicks.
ME: they can suck my dick, that’s for sure
FWB: (I’m trying to draw them off of you)
ME: well thanks
we’ll see what happens
FWB: ok…be back in a bit
ME: enjoy your romantic time with a mini plastic sombrero