On the Cusp

The month off ended up not being as bad as I thought it might be. It was nice to not have to think about what I was eating, and what I was drinking (or not drinking, as the case may be). We were travelling and visiting family over Christmas, and I wasn’t obsessing over symptoms or freaking out about my cycle day. I was just being. Which, after 8 straight IUI cycles, was a refreshing change.

Now, of course, the crazy starts again, as I go in tomorrow for my baseline scan to start a new cycle with the new doctor. During our consultation before Christmas, the doctor suggested that we try an injectables cycle. She thinks the Clomid thinned my lining too much, and that may have caused the miscarriage. So tomorrow after the all clear, I’ll start the nightly injections of Bravelle*.

I have high hopes for this cycle, but saying (or typing) that out loud makes me feel all squirrely and jinxy. So maybe scratch that last bit? I plan to do everything I can to make it work – no alcohol, wheatgrass (I seriously better have genius twins for drinking that crap), fish oil, excellent nutrition, light exercise, yoga, blah blah fishpaste. I say this after eating a homemade brownie cheesecake swirl, so take that for what it’s worth.

*I got the nurse to order Bravelle rather than Gonal-F because it’s cheaper, and we are rapidly running out of money. This cycle is being paid for by my year-end work bonus, and next cycle (please GOD let there not be a need for a next cycle) will be paid for by our tax returns. After that we’re shit out of luck.

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